Coincidentally, ‘A Fun Place Where Children Can Learn’ Was What He Called His...
Girl: Would you be interested in hearing about a fun place where children can learn?Man: No, I’m not allowed because I’m a registered felon.Girl: Well, have a nice day! –outside SCORE! Educational...
View ArticleThey’ve Got Their ‘Good Barista / Bad Barista’ Act Down to a Science
Foreigner: Excusa me, sir, I get the milk, yes?Barista #1 holding steamed milk: No. You ordered a Doppio. You don’t get no milk in a Doppio.Foreigner, holding drink out to Barista #1: But the...
View ArticleSo I Put the Old Guy Out of His Misery
Shop guy: Well, I can help you if you want.Old guy with carton of figs: Don’t help me! Do it for me, dammit! –75th & Broadway Overheard by: punkee... Source
View ArticleHe Got Down on One Knee and Offered Me a Cock-Ring
New Yorker: So, having a romantic evening in New York?Tourist: Yeah… I went sex toy shopping last night. –Columbia University Overheard by: laughing awkwardly... Source
View ArticleOooh, My First Rude New Yorker!
Suit: Hey, do you have a light? Polite Englishman: Sorry, I don’t smoke. Suit: I asked for a light, not your fucking life story. –Times Square Overheard by: English... Source
View ArticleWe’ve Found the Real Killer
Man #1: You dropped your glove, sir. Man #2: That’s how they caught O.J. Simpson, man! –34th between 6th & 7th Overheard by: Queenie... Source
View ArticleAh, Screw It, I’ll Do It.
Tourist to another: Ummm, we’re on Hew-stin. How do we get to– Passerby: –Dude, it’s pronounced How-ston, not ‘Hew-stin.’ You better say it right, or someone else who’s not as nice as me will beat you...
View ArticleLook, Do You Want Me to Teach You How to Spot a Prostitute or What?
Suit #1: Whoa! Check out that hooker. Suit #2: That’s not a hooker, that’s a dancer. Suit #1, laughing: How can you tell the difference? Nearby woman: That’s just rude. That girl isn’t a prostitute....
View ArticleIt Takes a Lot of Effort To Make Wednesday One-Liners Look This Good
Guy to male friend: We believe that the better you look, the more spiritual you are. –1st St & 5th Ave., Brooklyn Overheard by: PrairieSquid Man collecting money for the homeless: Come on guys, I’m...
View ArticleWell You’re Flat-Chested, but Did I Point That Out??
Stranger to six-year-old girl who is one dollar short when paying: Hey there, sweetheart! I will pay that last dollar for you. Don’t you worry. Girl: No! You are fat! –Dylan’s Candy Bar Overheard by:...
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